Building a healthy relationship with money was a journey that took time, patience, and plenty of self-reflection. I’d always heard that money was just a “tool,” yet for years, it felt like more of a mystery—one I was constantly trying to solve. I had to let go of old beliefs, learn new habits, and adopt a mindset that was both practical and empowering. Here’s how I did it and the steps you can take to transform your own relationship with money.
One of the first things I did was take a close look at the beliefs I held around money. Growing up, I’d heard things like “money doesn’t grow on trees” or “rich people are greedy.” These beliefs shaped my attitudes and behaviours around money in ways I hadn’t realised. By recognising these thoughts, I was able to separate fact from fiction and start building a new outlook. I learned that money itself wasn’t “bad” or “good” but rather a resource, something that could support my goals and values.
In the past, I used to have vague financial goals like “save more” or “spend less,” but they weren’t tied to any specific purpose. I began setting clear financial goals aligned with my personal values. For example, instead of simply aiming to save, I’d create a plan with tangible goals like “save for a trip” or “invest in my education.” This gave my finances purpose, making money feel like a supportive partner in my journey rather than a source of stress.
I had to reframe budgeting from a feeling of restriction to one of freedom. Creating a budget allowed me to see where my money was going and make intentional choices. I used to feel like budgeting meant giving up things I enjoyed, but I realised that it actually empowered me to prioritise what mattered most. Now, I track my spending regularly, and I’ve even allowed myself a “fun” budget so I can enjoy life guilt-free while still staying on track.
There’s no way around it: understanding money means learning about it. I started reading books, following personal finance blogs, and listening to podcasts that broke down complex concepts. By expanding my knowledge, I gained confidence. The more I learned about investing, saving, and managing debt, the more control I felt over my financial future. This knowledge made me feel empowered rather than intimidated.
I also realised that my relationship with money had a lot to do with how I viewed abundance. Instead of focusing on what I lacked, I started practicing gratitude for what I had. This shift in perspective made a huge difference. Rather than feeling constantly stressed or worried, I found myself feeling more satisfied and abundant in my life overall. Money became a part of my gratitude practice, allowing me to appreciate what I had without always yearning for more.
Setting boundaries around spending, saving, and giving was another big step. I learned to say no to impulsive purchases and to make conscious decisions about how I wanted to allocate my resources. This wasn’t about deprivation but about aligning my spending with my goals. Boundaries helped me to respect my finances and maintain balance.
One of the most powerful shifts came when I started viewing money as a tool to invest in myself and my future. Instead of feeling guilty for spending, I began seeing certain expenses as investments in my wellbeing. Whether it was a course, a gym membership, or a little treat that brought joy, each expense was a decision to support my growth and happiness. This mindset helped me see money as an ally rather than an obstacle.
Creating a healthy relationship with money isn’t about having a perfect balance or reaching a certain income level. It’s about transforming your mindset, setting intentional goals, and making money work for you in a way that feels fulfilling. By examining old beliefs, educating myself, and practicing gratitude, I was able to redefine my relationship with money—and you can too. Remember, money is simply a resource; how you use it determines its value in your life.